That's Not What I Meant
by BlueRubyBeat
Summary: Team 7 went to see the Hokage after reaching the tower in the Forest of Death of the Chuunin Exams. Naruto accuses Orochimaru of being a Pedophile and the Hokage is trying to dissuade him of the notion.


**That's Not What I Meant**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Naruto characters, Masashi Kishimoto does.

"Fire in the hole!" - Speaking

**~.~**

Team 7 finally got to the tower in the Forest of Death for the second stage of the Chuunin Exams, and one day before the exam ended.. All three were wondering what to do with the scrolls they were given at the beginning of the second exam before Sasuke thought of an answer.

"Let's open both the scrolls," Sasuke commented, Naruto and Sakura nodded and opened the scrolls, labeled Heaven and Earth. "Throw them away!"

Naruto and Sakura threw their scrolls away from one another and out poofed their academy teacher Umino Iruka.

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto yelled happily as he hugged his teacher in a glomp hug. Iruka chuckled and replied he was happy all three of them made it out of the forest.

"Iruka-sensei, we need to go to Jiji now! I need to tell him something important!" Naruto told Iruka with urgency in his voice. Iruka nodded and transported himself and his three previous students to the Hokage's office the Hokage was looking at paperwork. Upon their arrival, Sarutobi Hiruzen stared. Once Naruto was out of Iruka's grasp he rushed to the Hokage.

"Jiji!" Naruto yelled as he glomped the Hokage and clung to him like his life depended on it.

"Naruto! Is something wrong? Why are you here?" the Hokage asked his surrogate grandson.

"We got attacked by a pedophile!" Naruto's eyes were huge with this declaration and the Hokage, along with everyone else in the room, just stared at Naruto.

"What?" the Hokage muttered. "Where did this happen Naruto-kun?"

"In the Forest of Death! He attacked, Sasuke and bit him in the neck and he touched me!" Naruto explained.

"What did he do to you?"

"He touched my stomach and set his snake on me twice!"

"Sasuke-kun. Sakura-chan. Is this true?" the Hokage asked Naruto's teammates.

"I don't think he's a pedophile Hokage-sama, but he did bite Sasuke-kun and hit Naruto in the stomach," Sakura reported.

Sarutobi raised an eyebrow before looking at Naruto. "Naruto-kun, he's not a pedophile. He just likes young boys. And his name is Orochimaru."

"NO!" Naruto screamed. "He _is_ a pedophile! Liking young children means he is one! And since he likes young boys he's a _gay pedophile_."

"That's not what I-I mean he just likes young boys for their bodies-"

"Exactly!" Naruto nodded. "Told you he's a pedophile Sasuke-teme! Sakura-chan!"

"That's not what I meant!" the Hokage was losing his patience. "He doesn't have sex with young boys, he takes over their body."

"Isn't that the same thing?" Naruto asked.

"No!"

"So he's a body snatcher?" Naruto inquired.

"Yes. You get it." Sarutobi smiled.

"Oh!" Naruto's eyes lit up with recognition. "So he's a body snatcher that happens to like young boys and is _not_ a gay pedophile but just a pedophile."

"Yes-No!"

"No? You mean he is a gay pedophile? Woah! Mind. Blown."

"That's not what I meant-"

"Kami! He's going to come after me and Sasuke-teme now?! No! I'm too young to be snatched!" Naruto wailed. "He can have you teme!"

Sasuke just twitched in response and Sakura freaked that she might lose her one true love, and to a creeper no less.

"Oh for the love of-! HE IS NOT A PEDOPHILE! GAY OR OTHERWISE!" the Hokage finally lost it and screamed out a response.

"Geez, you don't have to yell. You could have told me he wasn't a pedophile nicely," Naruto said calmly.

Sarutobi twitched in irritation and sent a light glare to Naruto.

Naruto smiled. "So he's not a pedophile, gay or otherwise. Thanks for fixing that Jiji! I just have one more question."

"What is it Naruto-kun?" Sarutobi smiled and finally relaxed thinking that nothing Naruto asked will take away his sanity or patience.

"What's sex?"

The Hokage groaned and dropped his head on his desk. It was so not his day.

**~.~**

**AN:** Naruto is quite stubborn and seems to annoy others on purpose. Wrote this quick fic in minutes because it wouldn't leave my head. Don't know how it got there either. :/ Please read and review.


End file.
